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Monday, September 7, 2009

A fellow Self-Health-Er's poetry

My friend Barton has been intensely committed to personal growth and buddha-status health parties for many years. It now feels he has reached a new sense of completion self approval and power.

"I cover all my bases"

I only eat organic food, I don't parachute without a chute,

I never eat past noon and only smoke herb on the full moon

Vitamin supplements but only full b-complex not too complex

And low iron cuz I'm a guy and before you ask I get enough vitamin D.

I've got a filter on my shower and meditate 'least an hour every day

I've also got a crystal anti-magneto computer amulet

I dutifully take iodine tablets to prevent the radiative iodine from seeping into my skull

And before you ask I rarely pull and then I don't exactly jet

My net worth is phenomenal if we're talking about chi

I'm now a world famous yogi and yes I also do tai chi

(let's not forget chi gung)

If you want to discuss dietary habits I've got to admit

I'm only raw vegan but I'm also 80/10/10

I do daily affirmations which isn't to say I'm kidding myself

The secrets of wealth and health (hermetic in nature) get blogged by my personal shopping assitant

aka tony robbins. And before you ask I have tried all 32 or however many flavors of vegan raw baskin robbins

Did I mention I also have a shower filter, spam filter, media filter and dsl filter

In fact my filter has a filter and sometimes I still won't use it

If we're discussing water I drink it straight from the spring

50 to 60 gallons a day trucked down from god knows where

I live in the deep mountains so air quality isn't an issue

I am beginning to suspect that all my bases are covered

Tantric sex, oh yes, and I used to go by "Alex"

But now my name has a filter'd philtre

And big ups to Aleister Crowley.

PS: fresh squeezed carrot juice FTW

Looks great. What would you add to your mega health list?

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