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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Uncovering buried memories.

Some may be skeptical about what I'm about to suggest, but my experience and senses back it up - we may be physically holding onto memories by way of our posture.

The first time I palmed, I spontaneously recalled a memory from 6th grade that I had not thought of at all for years - possibly never after the event that occurred, which is odd because if I was in the classroom with my current consciousness I would have never let what happened happen. If I was a bystander I would have probably seen to a lawsuit or some kind of legal measure.

Now, in retrospect maybe it's not such a big deal from the outside, but from the inside it was a violation. I was in class and I do not remember what prefaced the action of the teacher, but at some point she grabbed my face, both sides of my cheeks with one hand and is telling me something about how I won't talk again or something to that effect.

Later as I progressed in my healing journey, I had dreams of teachers from junior high standing above me looking directly down and I feel powerless. Now I feel differently, and having that dream to me signified a clearing of this from my body.

As I palmed tonight, I recalled a memory of playing basketball in 9th grade or perhaps earlier. I found it interesting because the memory involved a beautiful girl that I was undoubtedly attracted to but did not know how to express and explore my attraction to her.

The significance of resolving chronic tension is great psychologically. It is not simply some kind of purely physical malady to have excessively tense shoulders, butt, back, or any other area in the body. Can you truly dance with a tight ass? Can you make love completely with tense eyes?

When you somehow allow yourself to be free and finished with your strained pain, I think it is like you are returning to that moment when you first found fear leading to tension and now are moving forward from there without tension.

I feel my inner child's presence. The sense of deep fulfilling wonder returns.


carol-anne said...

i know this to be true and with a daily yoga practice i get to fully experience my progress. as my body changes my mind changes. so much transformation taking place, so far to go.

there's some good readin' on this here blog here

David Hestrin said...

Sweet! A comment! Thanks Carol-Anne! :)

Mera said...

I had lots of memories putting my daughter to sleep that I'd completely forgotten, related to my mom putting me to sleep as a child. I also noticed the first few times I meditated my posture completely changed when I walked.

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